Happy New Year...yes it's late but let's resolute

01-23-10

So my fellow bloggers, we have been blessed with the opportunity to know 2010. Well I wish it merry and enriching to you all. The biggest thing we can do in life is learn. There are lessons with every millisecond. Though we do not always take the time out to realize them right away, we can always learn something. About ourself, others, and most of all our higher power.

Really quickly I want to rid my shackles of 2009 and resolute to being a more secure and valued person, in my eyes first. So I believe in 2009 I was experiencing the emotional unravels of all the pain in 2008. I would never harm myself but there were many days when I felt like it was my time. I seriously wrote my "last words" and left them on my computer when I left the country. Later on in the year, I did my 5 wishes. Basically what I want to be done should I perish. It was strange because I thought I was happy to see another day yet I always felt this demon that was whispering that my time was up. So I planned accordingly such that my family wouldn't suffer too much and that they would understand though I failed every expectation they never failed. Somewhere deep down I thought I served no purpose on this Earth's surface and that I was a disappointment. Man, I tell y'all there is nothing worse than a Demon than actually listening to it.

I overcame my funk when the few life-threatening events did not claim my life. I realize my higher being was not finished with me yet and He believed me blessed and believed me able. I had to change my thought process around because I got second chances. Not everyone does and I keep getting them. So I am trying with my best effort to shed the chains that keep my heart, mind, and soul strapped. To let go and let God. Honestly, I hope in 2010 I can help God by helping his people, and this time I am including myself in that equation. I may not be a vibrant example to be mentoring but there are so many others out there like me that just need a hand, a lift, or even a distant prayer.

So this year I ask you all to join me in letting go of what haunts you or at least opening your heart to understanding your God has never left you and forgives. Open your heart to Him and let Him help you conquer your demons.

Happy New Year...Happy Fresh Start...Happy faith..Happy heart!!
~NT